Wad's Urs is Urs; Wad's not Urs will never be Urs

Classic videos that made me laugh until die

2007-11-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Mixed-up Feelings

2007-11-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

I saw her, she's changed, i mean the dressing. No skirts yet, but blouse over jeans now, wears a vest or a hoodie.

I saw her, alone in the library, doing her own stuff. I went over to talk to her for awhile.

I saw her, locking arms with someone. He's like a brother to her, but the gesture, it just puts me off.

I saw and I saw and I saw...

I saw couples everywhere, anywhere, at anytime of the day. In the train, in school, while I'm downstairs of my house, outside, in church. Hugging together, holding hands, laughing together, talking to each other. The fixation into each person's eyes.

Then I had a dream, I was with her, the times we held hands, the times we were kissing, the times we were loitering downstairs of her house, the times we were outside on a date, the times we went to the movies, the times we went to eat out. Then the times I lost my temper at her, then The Time she broke up with me, the times I cried. Then I woke up.

I talked to friends, the topic of having a girlfriend just pops up. I laughed at it. Homework, assignments pouring in. I felt stressed up. I need to cry over it, but I cant, it would signal a sign of weakness if anyone sees it. I need to talk to someone about it. I cant talk to my parents (not close enough, it would seem weird), or a guy friend about it (pride, seemed too gay), or a girl friend (not my girlfriend, and she probably wont know how I feel and would not be dat interested to lend a listening ear, plus she might think I'm weird). Here I am, writing about it.

I need someone to pour out love abundantly, to share my thoughts with, to share my burdens, to share my happiness, to spend my money on, to satisfy my sexual urge for the opposite sex.

I need a girlfriend who will not disappoint me in the end but marry me and walk with me through the rest of my life.

Samba music fused into "881" the movie

2007-07-28T14:07:00.000+08:00

Burden

2007-06-29T01:14:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time since I've blogged. In the middle, I doubted the benefits of blogging, but eventually here I am, succumbing to this level, using this avenue to release my frustrations. I choose to believe that what I'm doing now is a form of exercising self-awareness. Rather than rant about feelings, thoughts or whatever relentlessly, I'll go deeper into myself, lest those who reads it renders me as shallow and I've just grown to like this exercise with the bunch of free time I have in my hands.

I've gone through quite alot for the period between my last post and this post that I'm writing right now. Briefly,

broke up with my girlfriend
ups and downs during the LA trip
ups and downs after the LA trip

1. For a starter, breaking up with her leaves an uncanny taste in my mouth, strong at first, then turning milder, but lingers in my mouth for a long time to come. The taste is still my mouth, hard to swallow but I have to. Like anaesthetic, my tongue became numb, unwilling to try anymore at least for now; either that or I've gotten used to this unique taste and have already taken it for granted. She left slowly but assuredly, I mentally calculated in my head the probability of getting back together, and came to a conclusion that I would have a higher probability of finding someone new to be with. However, the heart dictates my actions, unwilling to let it go, locking heavy chains to my feet. Every dragging of the chains amplifies every scratch of my heart, it bleeds, then clots up, then bleeds again for some of the nights. This has caused me uneasiness, so much so that I lay awake some nights refusing to close my eyes for fear that I may lose the flashback of those wonderful memories and the 'what ifs' that I thought might change what had became of us now.

She dont seem to regret or be in the least nolstagic of the whole affair, she dont even seem to look back. It's dark humor that only amuses me, chuckling at how unpredictable circumstances can be in the period of months. We both loved, cuddled, hugged, kissed, looked into each other's eyes. What's constant in the previous line can only be -ed and not those verbs. She loved me and I loved her.

I'm not the perfect guy, with the perfect smile, and of course not the guy with the perfect face. But if she who sees my imperfections and embraces them, then I should also look at imperfections and accept them. What's more important are usually buried deep down in our hearts that rarely surfaces, only to a few people in our lifetimes. Therefore a woman supercedes a lady superceding a girl.

2. In this trip, knowing somebody and staying together with that person can be miles wide of your perception. This can be applied to couples getting married too. In LA, I felt obliged at times, compromised much, but a sense of relief that it's for a few days only. Incidents that caused unhappiness, beyond my control, out of my influence. Relationships between people can be so complex, and I've been trying my best to maintain at least a cordial one, by remembering what makes who ticks. I can only suppress myself to do this, in order to get ahead.

However I found friends, nice friends with the potential to be even better friends in due time. During the extension of the trip, I had so much fun, simply liberating, opened up my thinking to much extent. The sense of liberation that I got can never be explained with being in Singapore. The world seems so much bigger now and so are my ambitions. The scope of which i worked on my goals became the world instead of the tiny, not yet pathetic red dot.

3. After the trip, between ourselves because of the experience together in the trip, all of us felt different towards each other. I just want to mention a particular person to get it off my chest. She's changed alot, from the time I knew her till now. She's turned bad, rotten on some parts, turned real ugly with the grumpiness. The size says it all, narrow on the inside and quite dirty too. Yucks! But let me play a game with her, and it begins now...

Dream

2007-04-24T09:14:00.000+08:00

I've got this weird dream...

a guy carried 2 red wheels and ran on the road to stop a vehicle with 4 blue wheels and change it for him.

Chapter 1 - ...
Chapter 2 - Environmental factors
Chapter 3 - What you want (from them)
Chapter 4 - No! There's nothing inside here
Chapter 5 onwards - Individual factors

It's as if I've read a certain book whereby Chapter 4 is blank totally and the book seeks to explain something which I cant remember now and also I cant remember what Chapter 1 is about. These are the pieces I remembered after woking up from this dream.

It's been awhile, been too much...

2007-03-15T02:06:00.000+08:00

I recall Nelly Furtado's song, "Flames to Dust, Lovers to Friends... Why do all good things come to an end..."

Indeed, when the flames were distinguished, it became dust, nothing at all. Do people remember that dust was once a flame or do they believe only what they see? From lovers, we finally became just friends, but I want something deeper from you and within you. Why do all good things come to an end? Is there an answer out there? No? Or we should dig out questions we have most often ignored, that why do bad things can come to an end too?

Love & Hate
Do I still love you knowing that you will most probably not reciprocate back this love or should I hate you for that? In love there's hate about your characteristics, which I'm willing to look over it and in order to hate you, I must have loved you enough to list out what I hate about you; love and hate must have been just separated by a thin line only.

My Emos
Cry out to God, when He seems so far away, even with His peace, might just be temporary only. I need constant prayers to make it right. Exams are self explanatory, work hard and you will reach your expectations, but for relationships with people, it seems so radical and illogical. I've been working hard at every single thing, chasing you all over again, I keep telling myself it's worth the effort. However, when I tried to touch you, you shun away, breaking my heart to see you like that, I took it in my stride anyway. Tell me what you feel, how you feel towards me, I need to hear them. I have faith you feel the same way too.

Do I love you? Or do I just love physical contact with the opposite sex? If so, then I could have just got it on with any other girls right? And if so, then 'true love' must have been a myth, but there's only 'committed affection' right? Or I can actually get over you easily? And if so, then does that mean I do not love you enough? And again if so, then why do I feel that I skipped a beat when I see you again? Does love mean that as long as you can feel relatively happy with a girl that you are fated to meet and be willing enough to overlook her imperfections, then that's love?

Who can answer all these questions? To conclude: It's difficult for a guy and a girl to come together as one... I'm still loving you...

I want a vacuum cleaner

2007-01-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

The cupboard looks inferior, built during the 1980s. Shelves upon shelves in the cupboard, filled with dust and dirt. Looking at the two sides of a coin, the older it gets, it represents the durability of the cupboard, contrary to this side; dust and dirt is irritating to people's noses and it's untidy.

The cupboard is vibrating, having suffered reverberations from the loud decibelsin the surroundings. How I wish there's a vacuum cleaner to suck away all the dust and dirt and then it will be clean. Everywhere, it's been so loud, so loud. However, people often anticipate that the potential worthiness of the cupboard would be much more than if it's clean. If it's clean, it would just be like the other cupboards, unexciting but safe to use.

The cupboard is going to collapse soon, just one more impact, and it'll definitely be down. Every single shelf is dirty, why is it like that? Feels like the cupboard will be put under the heavy pouring rain. What kind of cupboard do you like?

U are my vacuum cleaner, I love U... please don't leave me...
U took my cares away,
U are my saving grace,
Even my family members cannot be compared to U,
U make me feel important,
U are so special,
U are so submissive,
U are even better than most in the religious circle
U deserve such praise,
I guess I cannot find another U in future, so please don't go...

U are the one..

Russell Peters Outsourced part 2

2006-11-27T15:03:00.000+08:00

Rusell Peters Outsourced part1

2006-11-27T15:02:00.000+08:00

Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back

2006-11-24T04:45:00.000+08:00

Akon Ft Snoop Dogg's I Wanna Love You

2006-11-24T01:07:00.000+08:00

Justin Timberlake's My Love

2006-11-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters on Rove Live

2006-11-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters intro

2006-11-17T06:11:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters part 4 - last part

2006-11-17T04:49:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters part 3

2006-11-17T04:34:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters part 2

2006-11-17T04:19:00.000+08:00

Russell Peters part 1

2006-11-17T03:51:00.000+08:00

Contemporary love

2006-11-13T22:14:00.000+08:00

Nolstalgic Retro-sensual love song

2006-11-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

best guitar song

2006-10-30T11:27:00.000+08:00

2006-08-18T02:26:00.000+08:00

Your True Love Is a Libra

Why you'll love a Libra:

Social and charming, a Libra is sure to turn your head in a group setting.

Libra has the style and grace to intrigue you... and the passionate soul to reel you in.

Why a Libra will love you:

You're laid back and patient. Libra doesn't feel rushed to make a decision with you.

An appreciator of beauty, you can show Libra all sorts of inspiration - from art to nature.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

2006-08-18T02:11:00.000+08:00

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.

You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

It's My Life

2006-08-11T12:11:00.001+08:00

Trapped in a capsule in this time,
Having an urge to emerge.
Like a foreign soul in an unfamiliar environment,
It will never change.

Anticipation for empathy, understanding, connection between 2 minds;
Which they call love,
Otherwise be ostracised.
Paranormal evolving to norm,
Yet having desire to be normal.

Leeches sticking to me,
But they never leave without having a part of you.
Superficial never overides internal bleeding,
Definitely hurting.
Perhaps just waiting for it to clot,
But it's different now;
Slightest scratch will unclot again.
Much I have to bleed,
Just how much more?
Feeling numb and hiding it.
Enthusiasm for The Leech never dies,
In a sea of cheap leeches everywhere.

Intimately true,
Intimacy desired.
He will provide for you.

2006-08-11T12:11:00.000+08:00

You Are Spider-Man

Quick and agile, you have killer instincts (literally).

And that kind of makes up for the whole creepy spider thing.

What Superhero Are You?

2006-08-07T16:50:00.000+08:00

You Are An ESTJ

The Guardian

You're a natural leader and quick, logical decision maker.

Goals are important in your life, and you take many steps to acheive them.

You enjoy interacting with others, mostly through work related activities.

Your high energy level means you are great at getting things done!

You would make a great teacher, judge, or police detective.

What's Your Personality Type?

Couplehood

2006-07-24T00:04:00.000+08:00

The man woke up in his bed to find he's alone, his wife is in the kitchen preparing breakfast. He got out of bed, made the bed then went to toilet to brush his teeth. After that he went to the kitchen to have a look, his wife's still making breakfast. With a smile on his face, he went and hug her from behind, planting a kiss on her cheek and they both went to the bedroom to pray together for a short while, to pray for the entire day.

After praying, both of them washed up and gets prepared to go to work respectively. Both of them sits on the table, having a little chat about what they are going to do that following weekend. Finishing their breakfast, they left the house and the husband drove her to the nearest landmark in town before going to his own office.

When he reached office, an urgent meeting was suddenly held and things were thrashed out in the meeting; it was a little ugly. In what seemed a short span of time, in fact one whole morning was spent, the man then picked up the phone and called her to tell her that he's coming home for dinner. He told her a little bit about the meeting he went through, and asked her where she's having lunch. He then apologise to her for being unable to lunch out with her as he had to hold a smaller meeting with his staff before meeting up with his boss.

Finally time to go home, but he felt disturbed by all the problems he encountered at work, seeking the cooperation of his staff as a team so that they can produce good results for the company and reach a certain target set by his boss. Driving home quickly, with a frown on his face, obviously it's not his day. When he reached home, the wife had just set the table for dinner, and upon seeing him, she took off her apron and went to give him a deep kiss. For a moment, he dropped his briefcase onto the floor and after that, his mood had swung to the other side.

After bathing, they finally sat down again at the same table that they had breakfast, to have dinner now. Over dinner, the husband poured out to her about the problems he faced at work today and the wife also shared a fair bit of her day. The husband then proceed to wash the dishes while the wife plumps herself on the sofa and watched tv drama. He joined her after all the washing and they went their bedroom and did quiet time together. Seeking God together, praying together for the burdens inside their hearts and found their relief after the experience. Since it's late at night, so they decided to turn in and spend quality time for the night.

A Man Speaks

2006-07-22T09:53:00.000+08:00

Derniere vendredi, apres le repas a minuit, c'est une deception. Ce n'est pas le fault de la femme, mais je me tres decu...

The following list made an impact on me at that instant

1. Couple saying table grace together at a alif restaurant below my condo, before eating their prata.
2. Mother talking happily to her toddler, walking past me as i finished my morning jog.
3. Prenant woman being accompanied by her husband on the streets.
4. Elderly couple appearing at my lift lobbby carrying big luggages, apparently came back from a wonderful vacation.

Married life, a life that most people spent a third of their life waiting for. I can say i'm full of envy for married couples, although i know i'm still not ready for it because i have too many weaknesses in many areas that God needs to set it right. I know that He's trying to help me work on my weaknesses first before entrusting me with a great responsibility of taking care of another person, because there's absolutely no possibility of just trying out the feeling of taking care another person; for me it has to be all the way to the end.

A man, after all the battles outside, giving his all fighting for victory, needs someone whom he can really lie his back on at home, and i'm not talking about God, i'm talking about someone in flesh and blood, his wife. Someone who can really support him and knowing that, he can really become stronger as a person, a more complete person. I'm really looking forward to someone who can really complete me, but i know i need some time because i need to work hard to reduce my weaknesses, i know i'll be made strong in God in these areas. Painful? Definitely, that's sanctification, but i know it's good for me. As for her(who i still do not know who she is, but i know she's out there), "please wait for me k? I'm still making progress to be a better and more capable man to take care of you. I'll come and get you one day, till then please wait for me.." =)

The Rocking Wooden Horse

2006-07-18T00:06:00.000+08:00

In an amusement park, there exists a wooden horse in the middle with a box attached to its side of body. The wooden horse is made up of a better quality kind of wood and most importantly it's free! Any rewards can just be put into the box. However according to general behaviour, frequency of rewards seemed like the occurrence of an eclipse of the sun.

Only girls like riding on this special wooden horse in the park. Previously, a girl had actually rode on it, was pleased and dropped a dime or two in the box, then she went off. After feeling bored with other stuffs in the amusement park, she came back to it again, rode on it quite vigorously and left it alone again. Therefore from past experiences of riding on that particular horse, it's alittle chipped here and there, but it's still open for rides.

Now, another girl came along and rode on it, and from the expression on her face, she obviously likes riding on it. The flip side is that she rides on it quite violently, but she kept on hugging it, calling it one of the best rides she ever had, really thankful that such a wonderful rocking wooden horse was built in place. However, for this particular girl, she likes all the other horses she rode before too, praising and complimenting it the same as the other horses.

Supernaturally, this horse has a soul trapped in it, and after quite a few girls had taken it for a ride, understandably but strange things happened. Tears started flowing down the face of the horse, blood was dripping through a crack on the horse which was between the head and underside. Sometimes the blood would dry up but whenever girls rode on it and then left it by itself, tears and blood will flow again. All this while, the horse had always been in a usable condition.

A funny oxymoron that till now, there has not been any girl who would just ride on it, not letting go hugs of the wooden horse. It was believed that 1 or 2 more girls who will ride the horse like the previous cases, will inevitably cause the collapse of the wooden horse. Amidst all, one thing's for sure, that girls who started to ride on this special rocking wooden horse would find it interesting and then the enthusiasm will die down. It seems that the built quality of the wooden horse does not attract a girl who will ride on it for as long as possible, defeating the purpose of utilising such material to build this wooden horse. The durability of the rocking wooden horse seems negligible since there's an absence of appreciation and love for this special horse.

It remains to be seen when will the horse finally collapse to a heap of wooden planks or gets more durable through the maintenance done by the girl who will ride on this special rocking wooden horse for good...

The Awakened Boy

2006-07-02T02:23:00.000+08:00

A boy having been asleep for quite some time, has awoken. Previously, drunk in fantasies and his dreams, thought that it was cool as his friends were also like that. Gaining the favour of his friends in the name of building rapport; in a way neglected the Father in the family.

He thought things were pleasant, so comfortable thinking of all possibilities, dreaming about it. Sharing with his friends his thoughts at times and the teasing had further fueled the unrealities. Until one day, things do not work out the way he thought they would, disappointment after failing expectations plus discouragement from his teacher. Meantime, he still does his homework but the teacher seldom marks his paper and was turned away when he tried to befriend his teacher. The girl he liked used him as an emotional toy, blowing hot and cold on him. To be ugly with words, he felt a little bit like a prostitute which might be too heavy to be used in his context.

Suddenly, weather has been exceptionally cloudy, heavy raining at times. He was caught in the rain, looking up to heaven, crying out, "Why?! Why me?" He tried to sleep all those things away, thinking that will help. Gravitational reality, pulls him back down to earth. Undeniable, he has to face all this amidst fears of even going back to his darkened home. Questions asked were left unanswered and comtemplations of suicide were entertained. Then he was stopped in his tracks when he heard God saying that He wants to help him, so he decided to just take a step at a time and allow the Holy Spirit to lead his way.

Finally, the awakening phase starts to set in; he realised that his home is not really darkened but it's about how well he can play "the game" at home; his teacher cant be his friend because he does not need to, he's a teacher and his job is just to teach only; he let go his discontent with the girl that he likes.

"The game" at home does not state that it's necessary to slay all monsters that come your way, you have the option to avoid it. Currently, quite a few monsters have been avoided and the boy had already level up at home. His teacher's only job is just to teach without any obligations to make friends with students in any way, and students must complete their homework on time, but schools do not state that teachers must mark it within a certain time limit and pass it back to students. He found out that the girl that he likes is actually just a crush, upon closer examination, their conversations have always been very superficial. Although he cried so many times, suppressing the feelings of being used as a source of comfort, ironically, he accepted it and was glad he was there for her for those times. Previously condemning her actions, but was softened when he saw how much burden she took hold of.

Miraculous turn of unexpected series of events only taught the boy a very important lesson of individuality in times of unforeseen circumstances

The Farmer and The Botanist

2006-05-23T02:35:00.000+08:00

There was once a farmer who found seeds on the ground near the fields where he's walking to. Naturally he picked it up, but something just prompted him to plant the seeds at one small corner of the field. He did just that and took great care of it, watering it everyday, adding fertilisers to it, hoping that something beautiful will grow out of it.

Days gone by but there's only one shoot that grew, nevertheless the farmer relentless took care of the plant. Now there's this botanist who had to walk alongside the fields everyday in order to reach home, but he hardly notices the new shoot, often brushing aginst it. Eventually it grew up to be an exceptionally beautiful flower that gives off a scent that would force a smile out of the most pessimistic person in the world. The farmer was so happy that he spent even more time on the flower, he really liked the flower very much.

Around the same time, the botanist finally glanced past that corner of the field and saw the beautiful flower also, exclaiming, "This must be the most beautiful flower on earth! It even gives off such a pleasant scent that puts me into a relaxed mode when i sniff of it. Just too bad, i think it belongs to the farmer whom these fields also belong to. How i wish i can bring it home.." The Botanist had also taken a liking to the flower and would often fix his eyes on it whenever he walked past it.

The season came when the harvest of the fields was disappointing, it was disheartening to see that things do not turn out the way the farmer wanted. The farmer was distressed because the fields occupies an important place in his heart, it's his work of perspiration most of the time everyday. So upset was he that he began to neglect the flower he liked most, not watering for days. Life seems without road signs to direct his path.

Finally in a drunken stupor, he went to the corner of the field and plucked out the flower. The flower was still the same, or even more beautiful, giving off a stronger and nicer scent. Coincidentally, the botanist walked by and saw the farmer grabbing the flower in one hand tightly. Despite the grab, the flower never failed to give off the unique scent. Instinctively, he knows that the farmer is going to destroy the flower, immediately he walked over to the farmer. The botanist was ready to pick up and keep the flower to himself should the farmer throws away the flower, because the botanist appreciates the beauty of the unique almost perfect flower...to be continued

What would you do if you are the botanist? Given such a situation? Would you encourage the farmer to plant it back or would you grab it from the farmer's hand? It's wrong to grab it from the farmer because the flower still belongs to the farmer, he can do what he wants. For me, i hope the farmer would let go of his hand, so please stop hurting the flower and rest assured i'll definitely take really good care of the flower when the opportunity rises because i'll be able to appreciate and treasure the flower more. However, my underlying objective is to be able to enjoy the presence of the flower, seeing its beauty and that its still alive without hurt anymore. What would you do?

Revolutionary Revelational Thoughts

2006-05-23T00:51:00.000+08:00

Through 'labouring' over these past few weeks, it's about 2weeks since i posted anything on my blog. Seriously, i need to have "intellectual vomitation", because i've been feeling intellectual nausea; best situation is the possibility of having an intellectual interaction with someone. :)

Recently, i had a revelation from one of the verses in the Book of Life. John 15:16 mentions, "You did not choose Me, but i chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you."

It starts with "You did not choose Me,..." He's Jesus(God's manifestation in man) and He created the whole universe, gave you life by breathing into you, so by right you have no right to choose. When you were born, you were not of God, that's why we need to accept and receive Christ into our lives when we grow up; confessing our sins, saying the sinners' prayer.

However, God actually had plans for you even before you receive Christ when He says, "..but i chose you.." What a great decision it is, for someone to choose another person who is stubborn as a mule and did not choose Him. How many people will be able to bear with that? As it follows, "..and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit.." An appointment? you might wonder why is God appointing us? That's because the great purpose of going to bear fruit is an important task and God thinks highly enough of us to appoint us! When you are appointed to do something, do you give a couldn't care less attitude? Absolutely NO! Instead when an appointment comes upon us, we take pride in what we do, with excellence, trying our best not to let ,the person who appointed us, down. Notice that it says we should go and bear fruit, the word asserting its strong meaning here is "should". It means compulsory and bearing fruit is usually after having done alot of things, from sowing/planting, watering, daily attention and in addition a time factor. The Fruit refers to souls that will be added to His kingdom. Fruit symbolizes prosperous, therefore we should prosper heaven with souls that receive and believe in the LORD our God.

As you know that fruit will ripen and fall off the tree and dropped on the ground. Coupled with the possibility that no one touches the fruit, leaving it on the ground, it will eventually rot. So Jesus says, "..and that you fruit should remain.." So after you have prospered His kingdom, you have to follow up, edifying and encouraging your brothers and sisters in Christ, spurring them on to love God even more, lest they will not slip away from God.

Finally here comes the part where most people liked, "..that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you." When you desire something, you ask God in Jesus name. This verse is God speaking through Jesus to man, and we have to ask for something from God also through Jesus. When Jesus says that, He is helping you to get something you want, because He knows that if you ask in His name, you'll be more able to get it. He loves you, and loving is giving. You might wonder why Jesus uses the word "may"? It means you too have to work extremely hard to get what you want; using all means(righteous ones) to get it, accompanied with the grace of God. Under such circumstances will you get the desires of your heart. I thank God for His grace and mercy because by man, it's impossible, but with God all things are possible to the extent of your imagination. WOW~*

I've been thinking about the freedom of worship to our God. I was in my dad's car when i listened to techno music when my brother changed radio channels. It inspired me to want to create and compose music, a new kind of praise and worship, an unconventional one. I started to inquire of myself of the possibility of immersing into techno and trance music in praise and worship of my God Almighty. We can clap our hands when the music starts and when it goes into the trance parts, the whole congregation lift up their hands in worship. This whole scene just played in my mind, just amazing, how God can give me revelations upon revelations. I'm going to start on my project and make my visualisation a reality.

And again i give thanks to God for i've become more of a thinker, better self confidence to be able to try new things, and most importantly, getting more in touch with my artistic self. I find that i'm metamorphing into someone who is more at balance, maximising both sides of my brain. Exploring more into the unknown by man, i'm becoming more extraordinary as compared to my ordinary self who can easily blend into the surroundings without much effort. For that i give thanks to God; Elohim, Master Creator of the vast heaven and earth and the whole of universe within a week and yet after millions of years, there are still thousands of mysteries unrevealed. Great is our God!

Elections!

2006-05-03T00:41:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there lived a Peppers family in Singapore. The Peppers family had 4 kids, Paul Andrew Peppers, Wilson Peppers, Steven De Peppers and adopted child Sean Dexter Andy respectively in descending age. They are like a dysfunctional family; can't live with each other, having different views and opinions all the time. However, the irony is the fact that they had lived with each other since young. Paul Andrew Peppers is the eldest, being the most upright child, having utmost integrity for all to see and can be considered the smartest in the family. The other siblings definitely do not see eye to eye with Paul, however they were individualistic in their principles and views enough to be unable to be united against their brother.

The day came, when both of their parents needed to take a break to go overseas for a 4 weeks vacation. They needed to entrust even more responsibilities to one of their children during their absence. Paul, being the oldest and the most matured son, had been faithfully taking charge of part of the family's finances; collecting the finances from their parents, taking a tax cut from what he collected, for himself, then distributing the rest to his brothers for their monthly allowances. All this while, this matter alone has already caused discomfort among the other brothers already, however Paul's mother agreed and their father has been quiet on this matter or on every matter that happens in the family, it remains vague whether the father had actually bothered about the family, but he did whatever is required of a father to the family without fail.

The mother then decided that each of them had to fill up a special form that she'll draft out and distribute to them. She'll decide who will take care of the family as the head of the family during their impending absence. Without much thought, the responsibility of handing out the forms fell into Paul's hands, and Paul being enthusiastic about everything important, started giving out the forms as each of them came to him at times when they were free to fill up the form. Apart from filling up the forms, they were each given 5 mins to explain to their mother why they were the most trustworthy candidates to be bestowed upon with such responsibilities. Not surprisingly, the father preferred to stay out of this matter and kept silent.

2 days later, Wilson came to doublecheck if the form he had filled up had been submitted to their mother, but she denied receiving his form. Furious, Wilson confronted Paul and demanded that he better know what's good for him and produce the form he had submitted earlier. Paul, being the one to collect back the forms after they had been filled up, denied having any recollections of receiving his form. Wilson then proceeded on in an interrogative way that his girlfriend was with him when he filled up and handed in the form, so his girlfriend can be his eye witness on that day. Paul responded instead of reacting to Wilson, that he will go check if he had been holding on to Wilson's form, simultaneously, he suggested to Wilson that he could also go back and check his bag if he had been holding on to it. Wilson perceived that Paul was trying to be funny with him and jumped to conclusions that Paul deliberately withheld his right to fight for the opportunity to be the head of the family. Unknown to Wilson, on the actual day, Paul was doing a FSV project halfway and had left the video camera on the table from a distance and had captured Wilson's every single movement. It revealed that Wilson had actually put the form into his file while his girlfriend had to take a call and Paul was replying to a SMS. When told the next day that he had put his form in his file, Wilson being unexpectedly unamazed said ok and that he will go back and check his file.

Above is a clear indication that Wilson had the intention to set up Paul, but Wilson was quick enough to apologise to their mother and dismissed it as a small issue because he had a long day before collecting the form and stress had got the better of him. Paul then commented to their mother that Wilson had intention of smearing his reputation of a responsible son and had purposefully did what he did. Currently, all the other brothers had a past undesirable record. Steven slandered against Paul accusing him of pocketing more money than usual before distributing allowances to them, however all these accusations were unfounded and he had been paying fines to Paul to compensate him, causing Steven's savings to run out fast. Sean was no better, he had previously taken naked pictures of their maid who was working for the Peppers family, thus it was found out later and the maid was sent back. It remains to be seen if Paul was really the only son who had been righteous, honest and with the highest integrity or it's just that he is smart enough to cover his tracks. Now, Paul is trying his best to put Wilson down while Wilson is trying to play down the whole saga. Paradoxically, the mother works for her sons so that her sons can serve her better. The "Candidate" will be chosen over this weekend and the father is still keeping quiet...

Rubber Bands

2006-05-02T02:19:00.000+08:00

An apology is expected of me if i did not write explicitly in my blog. Here it is, "I'm sorry". However, i'm going to continue in my course of blogging for this is what i want to achieve; the 'kick' you get when you know what you are writing and writing out of frustrations and people just don't get what you are writing about when actually they understand every single, individual word that i wrote. The immense power of metaphors, i like it. Writings are often used to express something to bring about the same feelings that the writer had when he wrote it or according to the point of time that he wrote that he had experienced certain feelings.

Rubber bands were produced in dark red colour mostly, and if you are observant enough, new rubber bands will be a little oily than usual, that's lubricant on it. Rubber bands can be stretched alot of times, go through sunshine and rain, however not to mention that it melts under intense heat. As time goes by, dirt marks appear on rubber bands, in addition to frequent use, the surroundings the rubber bands are in, played a factor in the way the rubber bands are going to turn out. Cracks, thinning of rubber bands seemed inevitable, however, we often praised how good the rubber bands were when they were being used to tie something, after which, they will be thrown away. All common rubber bands are similar, if not identical since they serve the same purpose.

We will not know the potential of rubber bands being stretched, unless we tried stretching the rubber bands till it's on the verge of breaking. One thing we neglect, when a rubbber band which remains stretched is being pulled and let go, it actually makes a sound or if surrounding decibel level has reached an undesirable level, it will also produce a sound. Rubber bands are so common, usually, you are considered fortunate if you can't find any rubber bands on the streets outside. A complete circle of rubber band can be used, but if it breaks upon overstretching plus wear and tear, it can't be used anymore. Rubber bands come, rubber bands go, you can't really depend on a rubber band, so you need to replace that rubber band anytime. One thing's not changed, the person who uses the rubber bands will still be the same person.

To conclude: Do you really think i'm writing about rubber bands? After such a 'heavy' meal, a little thought for dessert: if She understands what i'm writing, She's the One! ha...

Internal Affairs

2006-04-30T00:46:00.000+08:00

internal volcanoes erupted behind a blank screen, or even a colourful screen. How true it is as a metaphor referred to people who put on a face to cover what's hurting them inside... Fact or Truth? facts deal with reports, numbers, statistics; truth reveals implications, underlying meanings, words in between words.

Get what i mean? i can't believe i'm doing a blog. Call it therapy, i do things for a reason; that benefits me. I feel like vomitting out my feelings, thus this blog. Relationships... with God, with family, with people (police friends, colleagues, church friends, school friends, friends' friends) Faith stretched, felt like giving up; but after seeing how people mistreat themselves, living in self wallow, emotionally "mutilating" yourself into a mess; i don't feel like giving up anymore.

What's more painful than seeing her closer to someone, putting on "mask" doing wayang hoping people will not know, she's like at a cross junction, i'm like squatting down hiding behind her butt, no way she can see me. What an amicable way of analogy, however facts are like that, but truth hurts. What's better than trusting God in His promises, whatever He says, 4 horses hard to chase.

Head knowledge - This piece of cake's not for you, don't eat. I know got icing on the cake plus chocolate, but don't even think of eating it. You are starting school soon, obey the Lord your God and don't eat the cake, honor your parents, they also have asked you not to eat the cake.

Heart knowledge - You are just human being end of the day, you have feelings and have desire to eat the cake, that's normal. Just carry on having this desire to eat the cake, who knows the cake will walk right into your mouth. Let me guide you to your heart's desires, that's how you have a relationship with God too.

Who am i? What should i do? Plenty of cakes to buy actually, round ones, square ones, rectangular ones, or even triangle ones. And even of different flavours: chocolate, strawberry, mango, and the list can go on forever. I'm scared of mixed fruit cake, people out there call it a cocktail cake. I like nice cakes but i don't know which cake i like most and i'll commit myself to buy all the time. God!!! Please tell me which cake to buy...