Internal Affairs

internal volcanoes erupted behind a blank screen, or even a colourful screen. How true it is as a metaphor referred to people who put on a face to cover what's hurting them inside... Fact or Truth? facts deal with reports, numbers, statistics; truth reveals implications, underlying meanings, words in between words.

Get what i mean? i can't believe i'm doing a blog. Call it therapy, i do things for a reason; that benefits me. I feel like vomitting out my feelings, thus this blog. Relationships... with God, with family, with people (police friends, colleagues, church friends, school friends, friends' friends) Faith stretched, felt like giving up; but after seeing how people mistreat themselves, living in self wallow, emotionally "mutilating" yourself into a mess; i don't feel like giving up anymore.

What's more painful than seeing her closer to someone, putting on "mask" doing wayang hoping people will not know, she's like at a cross junction, i'm like squatting down hiding behind her butt, no way she can see me. What an amicable way of analogy, however facts are like that, but truth hurts. What's better than trusting God in His promises, whatever He says, 4 horses hard to chase.

Head knowledge - This piece of cake's not for you, don't eat. I know got icing on the cake plus chocolate, but don't even think of eating it. You are starting school soon, obey the Lord your God and don't eat the cake, honor your parents, they also have asked you not to eat the cake.

Heart knowledge - You are just human being end of the day, you have feelings and have desire to eat the cake, that's normal. Just carry on having this desire to eat the cake, who knows the cake will walk right into your mouth. Let me guide you to your heart's desires, that's how you have a relationship with God too.

Who am i? What should i do? Plenty of cakes to buy actually, round ones, square ones, rectangular ones, or even triangle ones. And even of different flavours: chocolate, strawberry, mango, and the list can go on forever. I'm scared of mixed fruit cake, people out there call it a cocktail cake. I like nice cakes but i don't know which cake i like most and i'll commit myself to buy all the time. God!!! Please tell me which cake to buy...